Birth Day Eve

A year ago I was sitting on the couch dealing with the same "crampy contractions" I had been dealing with for 10 days straight. I had decided the night before that I was going to be content with waiting. I wasn't going to stress myself out anymore about making this baby come. I would wait. And try to be as patient as humanly possible. So when my cramps started to feel a little more like something else I brushed it off as I had a little too much chick-fil-a lemonade while browsing at the mall earlier that day. I took Banjo for a walk and told myself "we are just going on a legerly walk...this walk will not help the baby come", because reverse psychology works when you're doing it to yourself, right?
Andrew got home shortly after we had finished our walk and was preparing to go to Bunny Friend practice. I waited until the second he was about to go to mutter "maybe you shouldn't go...". At this point, I knew. Today was the day.
Fast forward about 7 hours of hard, hard labor. Quietly (for the most part) working in the tub to slowly move her body out of mine.
It's 11:30 pm. I distinctly remember looking at the clock and saying to Andrew "I wonder if she will be born today or tomorrow..." After what seemed like an eternity of pushing, pushing, pushing, crowning, not being allowed to push, oh, and the worst pain that has ever been felt in the history of the world, I pulled her out. Cue: heart exploding with more love than you can ever dream up, imagine, or put into words. She was beautiful, with her little bloody face all scrunched up looking around at us like "hi guys, I think I know you". All I could say was "hi" back, and about a hundred "I love yous".
No words can adequately describe that moment. I will never, ever feel that way again. Even if I have more biological children, no feeling can replicate the one when you become a mama for the first time.
It's pure magic.
After helping Ruby with some slight breathing issues she had a first, the nurse brought her back over to me to nurse for the first time. Another magical moment that I will never forget. Ruby knew exactly what she was doing, and even in my post-labor delirium I remember being extremely impressed and grateful with how intricately we are made. Labor, birth, and meeting your baby is so very instinctual and it just amazes me. Our bodies know what to do, her body knows what to do...truly a miracle.
Our family trickled in to meet our girl. They fell in love just as quickly as we had.
I've written before about that night and how special it was for me.
I wouldn't change a thing about our choice to have a un-medicated hospital birth. I feel so much pride and happiness about how we brought Ruby into the world.

Here we are, now. On the eve of my baby's first birthday and as you can see, I am heavily reflecting on the night she became ours. I love telling the story over, and over again because it is easily the best night of my life. The moment I became Ruby's mom is my proudest moment. A year later, I'm just as proud (if not more proud) to be her mama. Every day since that night has been filled with joy, laughter, smiles, hugs, and kisses, and it's because of her. She has changed us.

We'll celebrate a lot more than Ruby's 1st birthday tomorrow. We will celebrate our first year of being mama and daddy. We'll celebrate the fact that God has immensely blessed us with a daughter who is so perfect in every way for us. We'll celebrate that she is healthy, happy, and thriving. And we'll celebrate the fact that we have so many more fun times ahead.

Ruby, you are our sunshine. A year ago, you made us parents and oh my goodness, I love being your mama! You bring us so much joy and are such an incredible little girl. You're growing and changing and becoming less and less of a baby right in front of our eyes. I've got to go ahead and be the cliche mom that says "I can't believe how fast this year has gone by!", because it is so true. Life with you has been such a fun adventure that it's just flown by! You're amazing. I'm so thankful to get to be by your side on this journey. I love you so incredibly much, my girl. Happy birthday. 

Love Forever, 

Mama

Summer Adventures (photo dump)

I'm home sick with hand foot and mouth that Ruby lovingly passed onto me after catching it at daycare. I swear, our family cannot get a break in the sickness department. So, what better thing to do than update the very neglected blog....

SUMMER ADVENTURES!

We had a really, really great summer. I don't think I can stress enough how grateful I am to have had the chance to spend 6 weeks with my girl. Even if we did absolutely nothing it would have been fabulous, but, we did have a few adventures. 

We started out the summer with a visit from Andrew's parents. Ruby got extra spoiled when Dano and DD bought her a new swing/play set for our backyard. Ruby LOVES to swing, and we have used it almost every day since it's been set up (which was quite the labor of love, I might add). 

Before summer break technically began, it was already summer, so that's why I'm counting our fun trip to Alabama! I took off work early on a Thursday afternoon and we jumped in the car and made the 3 hour drive to Gulf Shores. We had a great time celebrating our friend's marriage (Andrew did the ceremony....and did a wonderful job!), and got to spend a little time at the beach. Ruby LOVED playing on the hotel bed, but wasn't a huge fan of the beach. The waves freaked her out, and she wasn't crazy about the feeling of sand between her toes. Her favorite part was waving to people while we dried off at the gazebo...crazy girl!

We then celebrated Andrew's first Father's Day (with a baby outside of the womb), and we actually had TWO kiddos. Our sweet foster-son T helped us celebrate how great of a daddy Andrew is. We're so lucky that he's ours. 

 Ruby and I took a whirlwind trip to Texas right after I got out of school for my Grandad's 80th birthday and my cousin's baby shower. We saw a lot of people and had a lot of fun, but missed Andrew way too much!

The rest of our summer was spent at home, in humid, sticky, hot New Orleans. We received the placement call about T while we were in Alabama, and he came to live with us the day after we got back. We had such a sweet summer with him, and fell in love with him so hard. Andrew text me about 30 minutes after he arrived (I was still at work) "this one is going to be rough...", but he actually ended up being the sweetest, funniest, most adorable 3 year old boy there ever was. 

We had a really fun fourth of July. Our friends came over, we grilled hotdogs and ate way too many chips. We tried to catch the firework show over the Mississippi (does anyone else still have to spell out m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i  in your head when typing Mississippi?? Hopefully I'm not the only one) River, but there was a wreck on the interstate and we weren't able to park in time. We saw bits and pieces of the show from the car, and rolled down the windows while we were driving to be able to hear the fireworks, which was basically the coolest thing in the world to T.  He stretched his neck as far as he could to see out the window and watched with amazement. I loved getting to experience that with him, his face was absolutely priceless. Ruby slept the entire time, even through T screaming "oooohh that's a BIG one!!" 

We spent a lot of time this summer playing at home in our pjs, going to the zoo, aquarium and park, and watched a few too many episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. 

T went back to be with his family after about 2 months with us. It was heart-wrenching, even more so than seeing Bug (our first placement) go. T was very sad to leave us, and driving away without him in our backseat was enough to make this mama bawl. We are hopeful for a continued relationship with him, even though we aren't really sure what that means for us yet. We're giving him and his family some time and space to adjust to being together again, and will hopefully get to see him sometime this month. 

So, there you have it. Our summer in a nutshell. It's fun to look back on it (at least the parts I decided to capture). Now that I'm back at work it's especially meaningful to remember all the sweet times I was able to have with the babies this summer. 

Ruby -- Eleven Months

 

Hi! Hello! We haven't disappeared!
I started back at work this week and that has come with quite a bit of transition (mostly for me, Ruby has done wonderfully), tears (again, me...not Rubes), and guilt (me, again...) after 6 whole weeks at home with my girl. I'm starting to get over my pity party, moving on, and cherishing the heck out of our evenings together. Life of a working mama!

Ruby was NOT into taking pictures this month. It doesn't help that she was feeling a bit under the weather, and I crammed in this photo sesh right before bedtime so I wouldn't procrastinate on it anymore. We struggled to get one good picture, but I'm still glad we did it. The pictures show her growing opinions...she definitely tells us how she feels about things! :)

Ruby is long past 11 months, but I figured I would get these posted before she turned a tear. By the way...ONE YEAR?! Never mind...lets not talk about it yet.

This month Ruby's little BIG personality has emerged even more. She is our little social butterfly. She waves to EVERYONE and if they don't wave back she points and says "huh?" like "HELLO, I'M WAVING TO YOU....ACKNOWLEDGE ME!" She makes everyone we meet smile. I love that about her, but in certain circumstances it can be slightly annoying. Like when I'm in a rush at the grocery store and Ruby is waving to every little old lady there, which turns into about 15 conversations about how old she is, how pretty she is (I agree!), and "ohhh I have a little granddaughter who is ___ years old!"

"Raise your hand if you hate this"

Ruby had her ear-tube surgery this month. It was a scary experience, and it made me really appreciative and grateful for a relatively healthy child. She ended up having bi-lateral tubes placed, as well as her adenoids removed. She had a hard time coming off the anesthesia, which was most definitely the most heart-wrenching part for me. She was so sad, had swollen lips and eyes (we think she had a slight reaction to something during surgery...still not sure what exactly), and was having a hard time breathing. The whole time during recovery all I could think was "why did I CHOOSE to put my daughter through this??" In the back of my mind I held onto hope that this would help her...and it DID! She has been a different child since surgery. She is discovering so much more, using her voice a lot more, and has started to improve her terrible balance. She's happier (who knew that was even possible?!), and has shown more interest in playing independently. So far, I'm extremely happy that we went ahead and had the surgery.

Now this is more like it!!

Sleep. Oh, sleep. We were struggling MAJORLY with sleep the past couple of months. I've been attributing it to her constant ear infections, runny nose, and just general sickness. Turns out, I was right! About 3 days post-surgery Ruby slept through the night. I spent the entire day convincing myself that it was either a fluke, or it was because she had downed baby P's (our most recent foster baby) 3 oz bottle of formula when I wasn't looking right before bed. I doubted my milk supply thinking maybe she just wasn't getting full before bed, and that's why she was waking up. Desperate to have a repeat of the night before, I offered her more formula before bed. She turned her nose up at it and threw the bottle on the ground multiple times. So, I nursed her and put her to bed like we've always done...and guess what?? She slept through the night again. Since then, she has been sleeping like a champ! It's amazing, and I'm so excited for her (and ME).

Ruby still dislikes pretty much all food. She will eat puffs, mum-mums, yogurt bites, and any other "snack" type baby food, but rarely anything else. The crazy thing? She will not even try it. When I offer her something she closes her mouth tightly and shakes her head. I'm trying to not worry that I've turned my 11 month old into a snack obsessed food snob, but it's is starting to become a little concerning. She is VERY interested in nursing ALL the time, so I'm hoping once I start cutting back some (hopefully after her birthday), she will become a little more adventurous with food. We will see!

Waving with dada

That being said, she hasn't gained any weight this month. She's holding strong at 20lbs and is 28inches long, putting her in the 35th percentile in weight and 15th percentile in height. She's mostly in 12 month clothing, but still fits into the majority of her 9 month and all of her 6-12 month. We're getting some major use out of this size, considering she has been wearing most of it since she was 6 months old!

Ruby's vocabulary is also expanding. Even though most things she says would not be understandable to others, WE know what she is saying! She says: Dada, Mama, Dog (Dah!), Milk (nah-nah), More (na?). She talks all the time and is constantly pointing at things asking what they are. It is so fun to watch her learn! She's still signing more, all done, and milk on a pretty consistent basis, she signs "please" occasionally but it's not often.

pointing with dada

Ruby's Month 11 Favorite things:

-Mama, Dada, Banjo, foster brothers
-Her baby
-Blowing kisses
-Making a fish face and "smooching" for a kiss
-Waving at EVERYONE
-Pointing at EVERYTHING
-Swinging outside. This has become a nightly routine since I've started back at work...it's a great way to spend time together.
-Playing peek-a-boo
-Climbing in the dishwasher
-Playing in the kitchen drawers
-Cruising around furniture, but NOT trying to walk.
-Dumping out banjo's food and water
-Rocking in the recliner and rocking chair
-Dancing. This girl is a mover and shaker. Any time she hears a tune, she starts grooving.
-Crawling away from you as fast as she can when you tell her "no" and try to pick her up from doing something she's not supposed to do.
-Throwing food on the ground to Banjo

Ruby's Month 11 not-so-favorite things:

-Eating anything except milk
-Being told no
-Getting changed (diaper and clothes...both awful)
-Saying bye to mama and dada...this has become hard for us! She hates us leaving.
-Getting in her carseat

Sweet baby girl, 

I can't believe it's almost been a year since we welcomed you into our lives. You have changed us for the better, precious one! I cannot begin to tell you how special you are to us. You make us (and a lot of other random people) smile every day, and you brighten our lives with your sweet presence. You're charming, beautiful, smart, sassy, and quite the comedian. Daddy and I are so proud of the wonderful little person you already are! 

We love you so much, 

Mama

HOW?!

How has my baby gone from this:

to this:

So darn quickly?!?!

excuse my while I go cry...

Ruby-- Ten Months

Double digits, baby! 

It's starting to sink in that this growing up business is real, and in just two short months my sweet, tiny, infant, newborn daughter will be ONE YEAR OLD. How? I'm not quite sure, because it certainly feels like we were just bringing her home from the hospital evacuating for hurricane Isaac.

Like I stated in the previous post, these pictures were not easy to come by. Ruby is becoming less and less a fan of sitting still and posing for pictures. She's still adorable (duh) and gave me a few good signature Ruby grins.

We've been battling yet another crumby ear infection this month! I think we're all fed up, and decided to start talking next steps to get this girl well. Ruby rarely seems majorly phased by the constant infections. Sadly, I think the discomfort has become her normal, and it doesn't really bother her often. Her sleep habits have been a little screwy this month, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to attribute that to the ear infections, or just how crazy out of whack our schedule has been.

Our girl is still as entertaining as ever and keeps us on our toes and laughing. She is such a show off and will perform for anyone that is willing to watch. She has really taken to pointing this month. She stretches her pudgy little arm out with her pointer finger tight and straight and says "huh???" at random things as to say "what is that?". I try and figure out what she is pointing to every time and say the word.  She loves it. She points at every little thing. It's amazing to watch her discover the world and begin communicating effectively. She is able to tell me when she's hungry, or thirsty and uses it adamantly. If I don't respond to her request immediately she gets very frustrated and upset. I'm sure she just thinks I'm ignoring her or don't understand what she's asking for, but in reality I can't always drop what we are doing to get her what she wants. It's hard because at this point in her life I can say "I'll feed you in a just a few minutes, baby" until I'm blue in the face and all she cares about is that fact that she's signing "FOOD, DRINK, HUNGRY, THIRSTY, NOOWWWW!!!" and I'm ignoring her. She still loves to communicate, and I love watching her grow and learn. It's so fun and neat.

She's still crawling faster than a speeding bullet, and is not showing much interest in walking. She enjoys cruising around furniture, and has let go and stood unassisted for brief moments, but has not attempted to take any steps that we know of. She is growing more independent by the day though, and I foresee her walking relatively soon. Who knows though! She could wait until she's a year and a half! Crawling if effective for her and she doesn't seem to be in a rush.

When we went to the Dr. this month for a follow-up for the ear infection, Ruby was maintaining her weight at 20lbs. She may have gained a couple ounces, but wasn't over the 20lb mark yet. Our doctor said this is very typical of babies, and she could maintain this weight until her first birthday (although I don't see that happening). The girl loves to nurse still, and I plan on continuing to nurse her beyond her first birthday if she wants to. I don't have a set plan for weaning, mostly because I don't really see the point in planning it out. My plan is to do what seems best for her. I do know that I really do not want to continue pumping at work (I am beyond ready to have a normal lunch break that does not entail being hooked up to a machine), so we will probably introduce cows milk at some point after her first birthday for daytime drinking.

Sleep has been a little bit rough this month. For some reason she has regressed to waking up once a night again, usually around 2am. She acts hungry (even though I know she's most likely not) and will not calm down for Andrew. I usually always cave and nurse her back to sleep. We'll see if this comes back to bite me later. At this point, since I am on summer break and can function with less sleep, I'm not super concerned about fixing her sleep. I'm hoping and praying this is just a quick phase and she will be back to sleeping through the night very soon.

Ruby's Month 10 Favorite Things:

-Mama, Dada, Banjo and T (foster brother)
-Baby dolls. She LOVES to snuggle, hold, and kiss her babies. It's the sweetest and cutest thing ever, y'all.
-Puffs
-Signing "more". Does it ALL. THE. TIME.
-Clapping
-Dancing
-Being held
-Outside (swinging, eating grass, playing in the dog's water)
-Finding whatever it is in our house that she can't have and could hurt her (cords, T's small toys) and playing with them even though she knows she's not supposed to.
-Playing peek-a-boo or "where's Ruby?!"

Ruby's Month 10 Not-so-favorite Things:

-Diaper changes have become her worst enemy. She twists and shouts like it's the worst possible thing ever.
- ^ Besides sleeves of course, those are DEFINITELY the worst things ever.
- Wearing hair bows, clips, or headbands. This one makes me sad because we have quite the collection. She almost immediately rips it off and proceeds to make it her chew toy. Oi.

Aaaand, it's a wrap!

Precious One, 

Even though time is flying by much too quickly for your mama's liking, this stage of your life is so incredibly fun! You are funny, sweet, mischievous, and just straight up enjoyable to be around. I genuinely love spending time with you and we are getting lots of it with me being on Summer Break from work. You are the sweetest, most joyful person I've ever known and I am so proud of the little person you're becoming. Life with you in it is so much sweeter.

I love you x infinity, 

Mama