As we go into the Thanksgiving holiday I am trying to be very intentional about keeping a happy heart and a grateful spirit even though I have a lot of sadness about the upcoming transition. I am constantly reminding myself that I am so blessed to have had 12 weeks at home with my girl. It has been such an incredible time to get to know her and enjoy her sweet, perfect, delicious babyness. I wish so badly that I could stay at home with her full time and get to witness every smile and coo. I feel guilty leaving her in a daycare where she wont be the center of attention. I feel envious of the mamas who get to stay home with their babies. I feel sad that for the first couple of weeks, when she cries her teachers aren't going to know what's wrong and how to soothe her like I do. It's HARD to leave your baby. Period.
However, with all of these hard emotions there are also feelings of thankfulness for a job that can provide for our family, a job where I get to help people and make a difference every day. I know that by going back to work we are going to be able to save money so that someday we can pay for Ruby to go to college and hopefully make it so she won't have to have thousands upon thousands of dollars in loans like I do. I know that me going back to work is 100% the best option, it's just not the easiest. I am thankful for a husband that has been able to provide for us during these 12 weeks and has been so gracious and flexible with me wanting to take so much time off. I'm thankful for a job that has allowed me 12 weeks off. I'm thankful for the wonderful daycare where Ruby will spend her days. The ladies there are SO excited for her to be there and I know she will be well loved, cared for, and SPOILED (she is going to daycare at the church where Andrew works, so daddy will be available to check on our girl during the day, too...another thing to be thankful for!). I'm thankful for an easygoing baby who I'm sure will handle this transition ten times better than I will. I'm thankful for the fact that I get to come home to family that I love.
As I sit watching football with my sweet husband with my cuddly, sleepy, adorable baby laying on my chest, I cannot help but be completely overwhelmed with thankfulness. I'm soaking up these moments knowing that just because I'm not going to get every second of every day with my girl, doesn't mean every second I do get can't be just as special...dare I say it will make it even more special?
No matter what, I have a crazy amount of love in my heart and it makes me insanely happy...
...and thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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