39 Weeks

How far along: 39 weeks!

Due Date: June 9th, 2014

Gender: Girl! 

Name: Still working on a middle name...I believe we have it narrowed down to two. 

Weight Gain: 35lbs. 

Maternity clothes: Of course.

Belly button in or out: In most of the time, but sometimes out. 

Food cravings: Anything cold, or carbs.

Sleep: Awful. Absolutely awful. I've had several nights in the past week where I can count the number of hours I've slept on one hand. It's sad, and I'm convinced it will get BETTER after I have this girl in my arms. If not, at least I'll have a cute baby to look at. 

This week:  My last week of work! I'm taking off until she comes. My feet, back, hips, and legs are all way too tired at the end of a long work day to continue on until the day I go into labor (which is hopefully SOON). We've had a busy, but good past couple of weeks. We've done lots of fun things with Ruby, and have experienced a lot of sweet little moments together as a family of three. We've played in the rain, and splashed in puddles and are just generally loving this precious time with our big girl. She's a joy. 

Miss anything: Sleep. 

Movement: Still a SUPER active little one. She's dropped very low, and is engaged, so her movements usually send me running to the bathroom. 

Queasy/sick or other symptoms: Insomnia, heartburn, backache, swollen feet, basically all normal signs that I'm about to pop a baby out. 

Looking forward to: HAVING THIS BABY (not being pregnant anymore). We are so excited to meet our sweet baby girl! I cannot wait to see Ruby become a big sister. If she comes around the same time Ruby did, she will be here early/middle of next week! It hit me this week that I'm going to have to go through labor again (duh!). I guess I just hadn't thought about it too much, because I've just been so focused on the end result (a cute little ball of newborn baby squishyness). I'm a little nervous about feeling that pain again. Praying for a smooth, quick (but not too quick), and healthy delivery. 

No picture to show. Just picture a really pregnant lady with a big round belly, and plumper than usual cheeks, and you've got the gist of it. 

Maybe my next post will be introducing our girl. 

36 Weeks

How far along: 36 weeks! 

Due Date: June 9th, 2014

Gender: Girl! 

Name: Still working on a middle name...I believe we have it narrowed down to two. 

Weight Gain: Last week at the doctor I was up to 31lbs. Not bad considering I gained over 60 with Ruby, but still, it feels like a lot. I'm not focusing on it though and enjoying my fair share of milkshakes and ice cream. 

Maternity clothes: Yes. All the way. Remember those scrub pants I mentioned a couple weeks ago? Well, I'm still squeezing into them, but I'm really starting to think they aren't going to last me until the end. I'll keep you updated! I know it's very important to all of you. 

Belly button in or out: In most of the time, but sometimes out (like after eating and then laying on the couch like a beached whale).

Food cravings: Chick-fil-a peach milkshake. So, so, so good. We also bought some peaches & homemade vanilla ice cream, which I enjoyed after I got over the fact it didn't taste just like the heavenly milkshake. I've also been known to go through a whole bag of frozen peach slices in a day. See a theme here? 

Sleep: Not sleeping great. I think I've passed the point of no return in the sleep department. I just keep reminding myself that any sleep is better than the sleep I'll be (or wont be) getting in a few weeks when our girl finally arrives. 

This week:  We had a fun weekend with Ruby, and had a great time celebrating mothers day. We're really soaking up and enjoying our time with her as our only child. We went to the zoo, park, and out to eat...all things that wont be quite as easy with a brand new baby. I had a doctors appointment on Wednesday, where my doctor realized much to her surprise that my active baby girl decided to flip back around and dis-engage herself (she was head down, engaged, and ready to go at 35 weeks). She said that she almost never sees that happen. Little girl is comfy, I suppose. I have a feeling she's flipped back around though, we will see tomorrow! Crossing my fingers as I don't want to have to deal with worrying about her being breech. 

Miss anything: Sleep. 

Movement: She's a mover. Especially at night. I've decided that her nickname needs to be birdy because she is constantly flapping her arms (and legs) around like she's trying to fly. As space becomes more cramped, those big exaggerated movements that she loves so much are becoming harder for her to do, and more painful for mama to endure! I'm grateful for an active girl though, I don't have to worry about her much. 

Queasy/sick or other symptoms: Heartburn is still here, but it's nothing compared to the awful back pain I've been having. It's seriously terrible. Nothing seems to really make it better besides laying down, which I have absolutely NO opportunity to do at all during the day. I've been having Andrew rub some panaway essential oil on my back at night and it's amazing how much it has helped. I also busted out the heating pad and that has worked wonders also. 

Looking forward to: As much as I am looking forward to meeting this cutie, I am truly looking forward to each and every moment with Ruby until her sister arrives. Weekends are sacred now, as I know I only have a few more left until baby girl's arrival. I know Ruby is going to be a rockstar big sister, and our sweet baby is going to add so much to our family, but there is definitely a bitter sweet feeling when I think about Ruby not being our only one anymore (even though technically she has not been the "only child" for more than a month since she was about 6 months old!). We're taking it one day at a time and I'm really trying to savor every moment with my spunky big girl. She's really the best.

36 Weeks...getting quite round and large!

Mothers day with my girls. 

And for comparisons sake, here I am 36 weeks with Ruby.

On Being a Mama

Mother's day is this weekend. This will be my third to celebrate as a mama, because we celebrated the year that Ruby-girl was still cookin' in my belly, and I have to say that each year the holiday becomes more and more meaningful to me. Not because of the presents, or the yummy dinner Andrew makes, or even the sweet little gift Ruby makes at daycare (although that definitely melts me into a puddle), it's because every year I grow more and more aware of what a gift this journey of motherhood is.
When I think back on my whopping two years of being a mama (I realize I am absolutely no expert at this point...will any of us ever be?!), I feel so much gratefulness in my heart. Even thinking about the hardest moments; like that first week of Ruby's life, evacuated from hurricane Isaac, painfully engorged and sleep deprived not knowing how on earth I will ever make it out of this alive, crying alongside my hungry baby at every feeding (which was about every 30 minutes) because we just couldn't figure it out. Or my first day back at work after a blissful 12 weeks at home with my sweet baby girl, the guilt I felt leaving her at daycare and how I cried every time I pumped for the first week and a half because all I wanted to be doing was snuggling my girl. Or saying goodbye to our first foster care placement, even though he was only with us 5 days, how my heart felt like it was shattered into a million pieces (and has felt that way every time we say goodbye to one of our precious babies). Even those memories feel like gifts. Maybe because we did figure it out eventually. That's kind of how motherhood has been so far for me. I mess up. A lot. There are a lot of tears, worries, confusion, guilt, and true heartache, but by the grace of God we figure it out and come out on the other side feeling pretty good about it all. Sure, there are days where I feel like screaming into a pillow because of the frustration of not knowing what the heck I'm doing, but I'm always reminded that this love that I get to experience every day, this love like no other, is such a gift. Loving Ruby, our sweet newest bundle, and the 7 other precious little ones that have blessed us the past two years has been the greatest gift I have been given.

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love." -Mother Theresa