Andrew got home shortly after we had finished our walk and was preparing to go to Bunny Friend practice. I waited until the second he was about to go to mutter "maybe you shouldn't go...". At this point, I knew. Today was the day.
Fast forward about 7 hours of hard, hard labor. Quietly (for the most part) working in the tub to slowly move her body out of mine.
It's 11:30 pm. I distinctly remember looking at the clock and saying to Andrew "I wonder if she will be born today or tomorrow..." After what seemed like an eternity of pushing, pushing, pushing, crowning, not being allowed to push, oh, and the worst pain that has ever been felt in the history of the world, I pulled her out. Cue: heart exploding with more love than you can ever dream up, imagine, or put into words. She was beautiful, with her little bloody face all scrunched up looking around at us like "hi guys, I think I know you". All I could say was "hi" back, and about a hundred "I love yous".
No words can adequately describe that moment. I will never, ever feel that way again. Even if I have more biological children, no feeling can replicate the one when you become a mama for the first time.
It's pure magic.
After helping Ruby with some slight breathing issues she had a first, the nurse brought her back over to me to nurse for the first time. Another magical moment that I will never forget. Ruby knew exactly what she was doing, and even in my post-labor delirium I remember being extremely impressed and grateful with how intricately we are made. Labor, birth, and meeting your baby is so very instinctual and it just amazes me. Our bodies know what to do, her body knows what to do...truly a miracle.
Our family trickled in to meet our girl. They fell in love just as quickly as we had.
I've written before about that night and how special it was for me.
I wouldn't change a thing about our choice to have a un-medicated hospital birth. I feel so much pride and happiness about how we brought Ruby into the world.
Here we are, now. On the eve of my baby's first birthday and as you can see, I am heavily reflecting on the night she became ours. I love telling the story over, and over again because it is easily the best night of my life. The moment I became Ruby's mom is my proudest moment. A year later, I'm just as proud (if not more proud) to be her mama. Every day since that night has been filled with joy, laughter, smiles, hugs, and kisses, and it's because of her. She has changed us.
We'll celebrate a lot more than Ruby's 1st birthday tomorrow. We will celebrate our first year of being mama and daddy. We'll celebrate the fact that God has immensely blessed us with a daughter who is so perfect in every way for us. We'll celebrate that she is healthy, happy, and thriving. And we'll celebrate the fact that we have so many more fun times ahead.
Ruby, you are our sunshine. A year ago, you made us parents and oh my goodness, I love being your mama! You bring us so much joy and are such an incredible little girl. You're growing and changing and becoming less and less of a baby right in front of our eyes. I've got to go ahead and be the cliche mom that says "I can't believe how fast this year has gone by!", because it is so true. Life with you has been such a fun adventure that it's just flown by! You're amazing. I'm so thankful to get to be by your side on this journey. I love you so incredibly much, my girl. Happy birthday.
Love Forever,
Mama
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