Anticipation

Today was a slower than normal day at work. I had some time to sit at my desk, go through my stacks and stacks of paperwork that needed to be looked over and signed. I was maybe using half of my brain during this activity, if that. The rest of my brain power was going toward thinking about this little person that's growing inside of me.
I haven't really done that much reflecting on the fact that I'm going to be a mom. I mean sure, I've thought about it, had my brief moments of terror, self-doubt, and honestly some sadness thinking about how much Andrew and I's life is going to change; but I haven't really thought about it.
Until today.
I started imaging what it is going to be like to feel my baby move for the first time inside of me. How weird that must feel, but also how completely amazing it's going to be.
I couldn't help but think about buying tiny little clothes, picking out a name, decorating the nursery, planning for this child that will soon be a part of my every thought and not just thought about during mundane paperwork and looking in the mirror every morning.
I thought about labor. How scary it's going to be, but in a strange way, I cannot wait to experience it.
Then I got to think about how magical meeting our baby will be. Will it have hair? My eyes? Andrew's beard? (hopefully not).
I started to get a little impatient thinking about how I have to wait SIX more months for that moment. Then I remembered how much planning there is to do, how much we have to learn, that we need to find a house for our expanding family, buy baby stuff, not to mention prepare ourselves mentally for the huge change we're about to face (although I'm not sure there is a way to do that successfully besides lots of prayer).
Andrew told me tonight that he's never changed a diaper.
We talked about how we're not going to be able to sleep in for a very long time.
I thought, "yeah...we need 6 months".

Sweet baby of ours,

I cannot wait to meet you in 6 months. I know you are going to be the cutest little thing there ever was, and that your daddy and I are going to be head over heals in love with you when you do decide to come. Until then, I promise to teach your dad how to properly diaper a teddy bear (and then we'll move on to putting a diaper on Nolan, your soon to be best friend). He'll be a pro before you know it. You just keep growing, and don't stress about the whole diaper situation.  We love you.