Ruby-- Ten Months

Double digits, baby! 

It's starting to sink in that this growing up business is real, and in just two short months my sweet, tiny, infant, newborn daughter will be ONE YEAR OLD. How? I'm not quite sure, because it certainly feels like we were just bringing her home from the hospital evacuating for hurricane Isaac.

Like I stated in the previous post, these pictures were not easy to come by. Ruby is becoming less and less a fan of sitting still and posing for pictures. She's still adorable (duh) and gave me a few good signature Ruby grins.

We've been battling yet another crumby ear infection this month! I think we're all fed up, and decided to start talking next steps to get this girl well. Ruby rarely seems majorly phased by the constant infections. Sadly, I think the discomfort has become her normal, and it doesn't really bother her often. Her sleep habits have been a little screwy this month, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to attribute that to the ear infections, or just how crazy out of whack our schedule has been.

Our girl is still as entertaining as ever and keeps us on our toes and laughing. She is such a show off and will perform for anyone that is willing to watch. She has really taken to pointing this month. She stretches her pudgy little arm out with her pointer finger tight and straight and says "huh???" at random things as to say "what is that?". I try and figure out what she is pointing to every time and say the word.  She loves it. She points at every little thing. It's amazing to watch her discover the world and begin communicating effectively. She is able to tell me when she's hungry, or thirsty and uses it adamantly. If I don't respond to her request immediately she gets very frustrated and upset. I'm sure she just thinks I'm ignoring her or don't understand what she's asking for, but in reality I can't always drop what we are doing to get her what she wants. It's hard because at this point in her life I can say "I'll feed you in a just a few minutes, baby" until I'm blue in the face and all she cares about is that fact that she's signing "FOOD, DRINK, HUNGRY, THIRSTY, NOOWWWW!!!" and I'm ignoring her. She still loves to communicate, and I love watching her grow and learn. It's so fun and neat.

She's still crawling faster than a speeding bullet, and is not showing much interest in walking. She enjoys cruising around furniture, and has let go and stood unassisted for brief moments, but has not attempted to take any steps that we know of. She is growing more independent by the day though, and I foresee her walking relatively soon. Who knows though! She could wait until she's a year and a half! Crawling if effective for her and she doesn't seem to be in a rush.

When we went to the Dr. this month for a follow-up for the ear infection, Ruby was maintaining her weight at 20lbs. She may have gained a couple ounces, but wasn't over the 20lb mark yet. Our doctor said this is very typical of babies, and she could maintain this weight until her first birthday (although I don't see that happening). The girl loves to nurse still, and I plan on continuing to nurse her beyond her first birthday if she wants to. I don't have a set plan for weaning, mostly because I don't really see the point in planning it out. My plan is to do what seems best for her. I do know that I really do not want to continue pumping at work (I am beyond ready to have a normal lunch break that does not entail being hooked up to a machine), so we will probably introduce cows milk at some point after her first birthday for daytime drinking.

Sleep has been a little bit rough this month. For some reason she has regressed to waking up once a night again, usually around 2am. She acts hungry (even though I know she's most likely not) and will not calm down for Andrew. I usually always cave and nurse her back to sleep. We'll see if this comes back to bite me later. At this point, since I am on summer break and can function with less sleep, I'm not super concerned about fixing her sleep. I'm hoping and praying this is just a quick phase and she will be back to sleeping through the night very soon.

Ruby's Month 10 Favorite Things:

-Mama, Dada, Banjo and T (foster brother)
-Baby dolls. She LOVES to snuggle, hold, and kiss her babies. It's the sweetest and cutest thing ever, y'all.
-Puffs
-Signing "more". Does it ALL. THE. TIME.
-Clapping
-Dancing
-Being held
-Outside (swinging, eating grass, playing in the dog's water)
-Finding whatever it is in our house that she can't have and could hurt her (cords, T's small toys) and playing with them even though she knows she's not supposed to.
-Playing peek-a-boo or "where's Ruby?!"

Ruby's Month 10 Not-so-favorite Things:

-Diaper changes have become her worst enemy. She twists and shouts like it's the worst possible thing ever.
- ^ Besides sleeves of course, those are DEFINITELY the worst things ever.
- Wearing hair bows, clips, or headbands. This one makes me sad because we have quite the collection. She almost immediately rips it off and proceeds to make it her chew toy. Oi.

Aaaand, it's a wrap!

Precious One, 

Even though time is flying by much too quickly for your mama's liking, this stage of your life is so incredibly fun! You are funny, sweet, mischievous, and just straight up enjoyable to be around. I genuinely love spending time with you and we are getting lots of it with me being on Summer Break from work. You are the sweetest, most joyful person I've ever known and I am so proud of the little person you're becoming. Life with you in it is so much sweeter.

I love you x infinity, 

Mama

Ruby is 10 Months!

The blog has really fallen by the wayside recently. I'm sorry. 

I really have no excuse other than I've been soaking up this Summer break (hello, awesome perk of being a school nurse!) with my sweet babies.
I did get around to snapping a few 10 month pictures of Ruby-girl the other day, and it was by far the hardest month to capture her. She's all over the place, and really just wanted to snack on some grass.

I'll be back soon to write her 10 month post. Until then, here's a little snapshot of how our 10 month photoshoot went down.

Ruby -- Nine Months

Well, it's official. My baby has been in the world longer than she has been in my belly. It's a strange feeling considering the 9 months she was in my belly felt like the longest 9 months of my life, yet the 9 months she's been with us out in the world have been the quickest. Funny how time will do that to ya.

Ruby has rolled with the punches this past month has her little world changed drastically by adding another kiddo to the family. She loves to play, and she does that no matter who is in our house. We got close to adding a little "brother" (9 days old!!) to our family last week, but ended up deciding it wouldn't be the best for us, or her. It's difficult to pray through these placements quickly and try and decide the future for your family and these kids in 10 minutes. God has been faithful in giving us the correct answers, and we're so grateful for his peace and comfort in the times we have to say no.

Back to the girl! She's busy, busy, busy! There is not a waking moment that she's not moving around and trying to get into something. Even when she's nursing she tosses and turns and makes silly noises. She's a mess!

One thing about her that I never ever want to forget about this stage is how dang funny she is. She has little "jokes" she plays on us and it never ceases to crack us up. She will be holding something in her hand and reach it out to you like she's saying "you wanna share??" When you reach to get it and say "thank you" she will whip it back to herself and squeal like "HAHA! GOTCHA!!!". She could play this game all. day. long. She also points at everyone and smiles so big and will squeal and scream if you point back. She dances, bounces, grooves, and claps to music, singing, and praise. She really is such a fun (and funny) baby!

We're still struggling with ear infections, and colds, but it's sadly just become a norm and doesn't really even affect her mood. I've noticed that it does affect her sleeping when it's really bothering her, but other than that, she's still her happy little self.

Like I said, Ruby is crawling at full speed and is into everything. She is also pulling up onto everything and cruising around like a boss. She even climbed some steps this week at our friend's pool. She's brave, and strong and shows off all the time. She has had a few bumps and bruises from her adventure but is really a tough kid. She falls and just gets right back up to go about her adventures. Her teachers at school are amazed by how much of a little rough and tumble girl she is, and say something about it almost every time I pick her up!

I've gotten a few comments this month about Ruby thinning out (TEAR!), but she is definitely still chunkalicious (that's a word, right?)! She hadn't gained any weight since her doctors appointment right before her 8 month birthday, but had gained some length. She was 20lbs and 27 inches at her appointment putting her in the 75th % in weight, and 50th % in height. I'm sure with her new found mobility she will continue thinning out, and it makes me a little sad to see her loosing her baby fat! I hope it sticks around for a while longer.

She's still not a huge fan of eating anything other than mama's milk. She eats great at daycare, but closes her mouth tightly to foods when we offer them at home. I'm not stressing about it, and just continuing to offer her new things to try. She's nursing in the morning before I leave, and then 2-3 times after daycare. She LOVES to nurse, and would probably nurse all night long if I let her. She's at the stage where she can make it very clear what exactly she wants by pulling on my shirt and trying to chew on my boob through my shirt. It can get a little awkward in a big group of people, but we embrace it! It's pretty hilarious to see.

Ruby is still sleeping great (besides the few nights that her ears have been hurting). She has started going to bed a little earlier, but not because I want her to! I really enjoy and cherish our evenings together and kind of liked that she was staying up later, but she had been giving us lots of cues of being sleepy around 7:30. So, instead of dealing with a fussy, tired baby, we just started putting her down earlier. She's sleeping about 11 hours usually, and wakes up around 6:30. Can't complain!

Her hair has really come in this month! It's like it's growing overnight at this point. It's long enough for a clip, which makes this mama so very happy. Except, she will not keep them in for the life of her. She LOVES pulling them out and chewing on them. Oh well. It's cute while it lasts, and it's pretty funny to watch her search for it, reach up and find it, and then examine her treasure. ;)

Ruby's babbling almost constantly at this point. We joke that when she learns how to actually "talk" she's never going to stop. Her favorite word is definitely "dada". She says it all. the. time. She has the sweetest little raspy voice that just makes me smile. She already has such a tone and inflection to the way she "speaks", it's really pretty amazing. I can't wait to hear some of the things this girl will say someday!

Ruby's favorite things:
-Banjo
-Mama & Dada
-Bath time
-Playing constantly
-Swinging (Ruby's Dano & DD bought her a playset and we are loving it!)
-Clapping
-Squealing
-Dancing
-Being crazy
-Tearing stuff up (if I ever need a spare moment, say to pee, I just give her some toilet paper and let her go to town tearing it up...she thinks it's the best thing ever)
-Puffs
-Frozen peaches and mangoes

Ruby's not-so-favorite things:
-Sleeves are still the worst thing ever.
-Actually, just getting dressed at all is pretty horrible.
-Being told "no" is pretty high up on the list of things Ruby hates. (she loves to play in Banjo's water bowl and we hate to clean up the mess that ensues when she does so. we take her away from the bowl and say "no" and she gives us the saddest look ever known to mankind and then bursts into tears). It's almost enough for me to just let her play in the water, but I know she has to learn eventually!
-Getting in her carseat after I pick her up from daycare. I understand this one. She hasn't seen me all day long, and she just wants mama to hold her, but I want to get home and hold her. She just can't understand the logic.

My Sweet Love, 

Mama and Daddy are so proud of the fun, quirky, loveable little person that you are. You make us SO happy! We always talk about how lucky we are to have you, and how wonderful we think you are. We are so happy to be apart of your life, and watching you grow is the greatest privilege we could ever wish for. You're the greatest, Rubes. 

Love,

Mama

Update

We got the news from Bug's social worker around 4:30 this evening that his grandparents were awarded custody. Our hearts have been on a roller coaster ride today and when I finally heard those words I felt something that I did not expect to feel: relief. 

I am relieved this day is OVER. What started out as an ordinary day quickly changed into one of the most emotionally difficult days I have had in quite a while. I was able to relax knowing what the heck was going on....the waiting was SO hard. 

I am relieved that Bug is going to be get to be with his family. No matter how much Bug loved us (and I know that he did), we were still unfamiliar, doing things he's never done and going places he had never been. Being with his family will bring him comfort, I'm sure. We pray that Bug feels loved, safe, secure, and no longer scared. 

I am also relieved that Bug is not going back to his parents yet. While, I really hope that someday his parents will get their act together and be reunited with Bug, I definitely didn't think 5 days was enough time to do that. I'm thankful that the judge thought the same thing. 

We really miss Bug so much. Like I said before, we love him, and it's hard to let go so quickly. We've spent the whole evening saying things that he would've been saying and laughing about how cute/funny he was. We packed up his stuff and wrote him a little note that I hope someone will read to him telling him how much fun we had with him and how special and wonderful we think he is. Someone from DCFS will come pick up his things in the morning, and all we will have left are the sweet memories (and the huge carton of goldfish that I bought for him). I told Andrew tonight "we will never, ever forget him". It's true, we wont. 

We went out to dinner tonight as a family to celebrate the difference that Bug made in our lives, and the fact that we now know that we can do this. We made it through our first placement! While Bug will always have a little piece of our hearts with him, we are excited to invite more in. 

I'm not finished processing all these emotions. It's hard to really know exactly what your heart is feeling when there are so many different things going on inside of it. I'm happy for Bug, sad for us, but also full of anticipation of what's in store. I guess the one feeling that I can settle on is HOPE. Because we all have it, no matter what, there's always hope. 

Thanks for joining us on this journey. 

Bug was so timid and scared at first at the pool, he gained a lot of courage & trust there and ended up jumping to Andrew many, many, many times 

Playin' together.  

This boy LOVED "his puppy". The first night he was with us, Banjo was the only one who could comfort him. 

Our First Placement

We got the call that we have been eagerly waiting for on Thursday afternoon. The voice on the other end told me a brief story about a two year old boy who was removed from his home for neglect. A few hours later, Andrew and I were rushing around trying to prepare for this little life that would soon be joining ours. We saw the minivan pull into our driveway and went out to greet him with Ruby bouncing and sucking on a frozen peach on my hip. Out of the van pops a little boy with straight blonde hair and pretty blue eyes.

He was visibly scared a confused, and had just been awaken from his nap in the car. The social worker walked inside with us and gave us some paperwork to sign, then left as quickly as she had come. Suddenly, our lives had changed. I looked at Andrew and said "we have two kids", he came back with "TADA!".

Turns out that the little guy (we'll call him Bug here....mostly because I was calling him Bud one day and he turned to me with a concerned face "BUG??") was 3, not 2. He was tall, his sweet little face was covered in dirt,and his fingernails long with black dirt underneath them. We talk some about trucks, and show him his room with his big boy bed and stuffed animals waiting for him. That night was rough for all of us. He cried a lot, and we did a lot of comforting. We all fell in love.

Fast forward 5 days later. He's constantly hugging us, asking for "kiss" and saying "I lub you". We have little games we play, and things we say, like when we buckle him in his car seat "Bug has 1 leg" and he corrects us "NO! TWO LEG!", ect.. He's apart of us already. He calls Ruby "bebe" and Banjo "puppy". He is enamored with them and constantly says "look at that bebe!" "look at that puppy!!". He loves "gofish" and says ouch in the cutest way possible "OUSH". He loves bath-time, in fact when we got home from a BBQ at a friend's house last night the first thing he said was "BATH? Take a bath?!". We were told he didn't have running water at his house, so I'm sure he was just so excited to be ABLE to take a bath. He makes us laugh and smile, and truly has brought our house so much joy. He's affectionate and lapping up the love that we are dishing out. We've committed our hearts to loving this little guy 100%, no matter what.

I got a call this morning shortly after getting to work from his social worker, she told me that Bug had court and had to be there in an hour. She apologized for the late notice, and said that someone would be picking him up in 30 minutes. A million things ran through my mind. I'm mostly worried about how today will go for him, I know he's scared and confused in yet another new, unfamiliar place. I hope they have toys for him to play with, and that someone nice and patient is watching him. I wish I could be there to tell him that everything is okay, and make sure he knows how much we love him. I'm letting my thoughts run on, and think about if the judge says he can go home today. We wont even get to hug and kiss him goodbye, or tell him one more time that he is SO loved. My eyes keep welling up with tears and I keep pushing them back down.

I take a deep breath and remember who is in control. I remember that God has already written Bug's story, and that He will never leave or forsake Bug. "I will never leave you, or forsake you. Know that I am with you, you will never be alone" are words to a sweet song that I would lightly sing to Bug when he was nervous about going to bed. Those words are ringing in my ears today, I need them too, I need to know that Bug will never be alone, even if we can't be with him.

I guess going into foster care, I didn't anticipate loving as much as I do. I mean, I knew we were going to be committed to loving the kids that came into our home (for however brief or long-term), but I guess I'm just surprised that I love THIS much. I guess we wouldn't be doing it right if we didn't love Bug as much as we do. We are 100% in, and loving at 100% as well. I think (and hope) that Bug felt that.

I don't know what will happen today with Bug. This morning when I hugged him tight and kissed his sweet little face over and over again might have been the last time I will ever see him. That's surreal to me. To love someone so hard for such a short amount of time and then never see them again? It's a strange feeling. It's a feeling that I'm willing to embrace, though. I know we are going to grieve when Bug leaves us, but I also know our hearts are capable of so much more love. I'm excited to see where God takes us, and who he brings to us to love.

We're in this 100%.

Saturday in the Park

Who is singing that song now? 

I am. 

In fact, I just pulled it up on youtube to listen to while I type this...Chicago had some rad hair and beards. 

We had a nice (& hot) Saturday in the park that is close to our house on Saturday. We went with the intention of feeding the ducks. Unfortunately, I don't think we were the first ones with that idea so the ducks already had full bellies and were not interested in our bread.

We still had fun though! We let Banjo run around the dog park and meet some new friends, walked around and looked at the water and sleeping ducks, and then ended the trip with our first snow-ball of the summer. We let Ruby have a taste and she LOVED it. She was bouncing up and down grunting for more. 

We love weekends! 

"Hi Dada!"

More interested in eating the bread than feeding it to the ducks 

Hot dog! 

Sweet, happy girl

The boys

YUM!

Lunch Fast for Local Orphans from First Baptist New Orleans on Vimeo.