Insta-Friday, except not so much.

I failed in taking pictures this week.
I took one.
And it's straight up depressing.
(it's a picture of a 5 inch long grey hair that I pulled out of my head...terrifying.)

I started cleaning houses this week for Andrew's cousin's company. I'm having a hard time having a good attitude about it all. Not being able to find a job has been so discouraging, and when I'm working so hard mopping, vacuuming, and cleaning people's poop off a toilet all I can think is "I went to 4 years of college, and am thousands of dollars in debt for this...really!?"
See? I told you. Bad attitude.
I should be grateful to have something to do, but my sore muscles, flared eczema hands, and tired feet are keeping the grateful deep inside.

I really really really want something else to happen, to be doing something I love and worked so hard to achieve.
It kills me that it's this hard.

I'm so sorry that all you've read here lately is me complaining about not having a job, I really am. I want to be upbeat about it, have a smile on my face and say "oh, it's okay, I'm okay, it's going to be okay.", but that's not how I feel right now. It doesn't feel okay.

I know it will be eventually. Someday we will look back on this time and talk about how hard it was, but how much it taught us. I look forward to that day, and hope it comes sooner than later.